At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
