I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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