I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
