She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
