woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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