I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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