Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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