i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
