I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
