I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
