i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
