Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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