Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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