You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
