You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
