I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
