their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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