So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize