dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
