Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
