you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
