it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
