So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
