She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
