just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its not stalking. its research.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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