Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
