If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize