i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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