Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
