Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
