you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
