I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I lost the right to judge tonight
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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