i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
