Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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