you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
