you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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