please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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