i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I enjoy the company of your penis
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
