I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
