I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize