he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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