Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
