My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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