yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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