i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
