Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
