And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
