dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
