You're my little dorito
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
