FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
