He kissed a someone with a penis
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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