proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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