I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
