would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize