Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
