Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
