Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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