You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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