Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
