youre lurking in front of me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
