she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
