I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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