Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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