god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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